No matter how successfully we are able to individuate and find “ourselves” outside of the constraints that have been placed, most people spend time wondering about what others are thinking.
What if it’s impossible to ever stop being concerned with what others think? This concern is a major part of what makes us human. Needing some sense of connection involves comparing oneself to others. We might never be able to NOT care what others think. We partly learn who we are in relation to others.
As much as we might not want to care what others think about us... we are greatly influenced by the continuous judgments of the internal jury….. if only on a subconscious level. This is how people are hard wired to survive....to have a keen awareness of what others are up to.
There’s no right or wrong here. Just take some time to reflect on who is the unseen audience within yourself that is evaluating you. Perhaps we need to be choosy about this. Seek out people, ideas, ways of being that seem worthy of taking up so much space in your day and decisions. Just don’t default it to the media, or people from your past who you don’t especially love or want to be an active part of your daily decision process.
Part of being more happy and free and having good mental health, is having more of a choice about who the internal “others” are that are constantly with us, governing our judgment and evaluations of our self.
What if it’s impossible to ever stop being concerned with what others think? This concern is a major part of what makes us human. Needing some sense of connection involves comparing oneself to others. We might never be able to NOT care what others think. We partly learn who we are in relation to others.
As much as we might not want to care what others think about us... we are greatly influenced by the continuous judgments of the internal jury….. if only on a subconscious level. This is how people are hard wired to survive....to have a keen awareness of what others are up to.
There’s no right or wrong here. Just take some time to reflect on who is the unseen audience within yourself that is evaluating you. Perhaps we need to be choosy about this. Seek out people, ideas, ways of being that seem worthy of taking up so much space in your day and decisions. Just don’t default it to the media, or people from your past who you don’t especially love or want to be an active part of your daily decision process.
Part of being more happy and free and having good mental health, is having more of a choice about who the internal “others” are that are constantly with us, governing our judgment and evaluations of our self.
- Who are the invisible others carried within YOUR mind?
- Who would you prefer them to be?
- What would be different if the cast of internal commentators were to change