SHIRA H. DOMBIAK, LPC- THERAPY AND CONSULTATION

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The Beliefs You Seek to Confirm

4/8/2026

 
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The Beliefs You Forgot You Chose

There is something quietly shaping your entire life--
and most of the time, you don’t even know it’s there.
Not your circumstances.
Not other people.
Not even your past, in the way you think.
It’s your beliefs.

Not the loud ones you can name.
The quiet ones.
The ones that feel like reality itself.

The ones that say:
  • “This is just how people are.”
  • “This is what happens to me.”
  • “This is how life works.”
But what if those aren’t truths?
What if they are lenses?

Beliefs are not just thoughts.
They are filters.
They sit at the entrance of your mind,
deciding what gets let in,
what gets noticed,
what gets remembered.
They are a funnel.
And once something passes through that funnel,
it starts to look like proof.

If you believe people disappoint you,
you will notice every moment they do.
If you believe you are overlooked,
you will see every missed glance.
If you believe things are hard,
your nervous system will brace for effort before you even begin.

And then--
the world will seem to confirm it.
Not because it’s true.
But because it’s selected.

Most beliefs are not chosen consciously.
They are absorbed.
Inherited.
Built quietly in moments when you were too young,
too overwhelmed,
or too alone to question them.
They became the background.
The atmosphere.
The water you learned to swim in.

If a belief was learned,
it can be seen.
And if it can be seen,
it can be questioned.
Not aggressively.
Not all at once.
Just gently, like light entering a room that’s been dim for a long time.

You just have to begin to notice:
“What am I assuming is true…
that I’ve never actually examined?”

Because there are other funnels.
Other ways of seeing.
What if:
  • Some people are safe?
  • Some things come easily?
  • You are allowed to be supported?
  • Life is not always something to brace against?

You don’t have to force yourself to believe these.
Just let them exist.
Let them sit beside your current beliefs,
like open doors you haven’t walked through yet.

This is how change begins.
Not by fighting your mind.
But by expanding it.

There is more than one way to see the world.
And the moment you realize that--
you are no longer trapped inside just one.


-Shira

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Photos from Rosmarie Voegtli, Joe Dyer