SHIRA H. DOMBIAK, LPC- THERAPY AND CONSULTATION

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Becoming Capable of Holding a Larger Life Than the One You’ve Known

12/16/2025

 
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​There are times in life when nothing is clearly wrong, but things feel unfamiliar. You may not feel anxious or depressed, just unsettled. Many people worry that this means something is going wrong. Often, it means something is changing.

This kind of change is hard to explain because it doesn’t start with clear thoughts. It starts as a feeling.

When feelings come before words
During big life changes, people often notice a vague sense of discomfort, low energy or flatness, uncertainty without panic, or feeling “in between” stages of life.

This can be confusing because there isn’t a clear story to tell yourself. But that doesn’t mean you’re lost. It often means your experience is ahead of your ability to explain it.

Growth doesn’t always begin in the mind. Sometimes it begins in the body.

Letting go of old structure before new structure forms
Many parts of life give us shape and stability, such as routines, roles, physical spaces, and clear identities.

When these change or fall away, even by choice, there can be a period where things feel unsteady. The body may react as if something is wrong, even when the change is healthy.

What’s often happening is not loss, but growing room.

You are becoming able to hold more than you once could.

Why reassurance doesn’t help right now
In this phase, it’s natural to want answers about whether you’ll be okay, what to do next, or who you’re becoming.

But this isn’t a phase where clear answers arrive. Trying to force certainty can actually make things harder.

Instead of answers, what’s growing is your ability to stay steady without them. That may not feel good — but it is a real form of strength.

Signs you may be in a healthy transition
You may notice feelings without clear thoughts, less urge to fix everything, awareness that stress changes how you think, more pausing and less reacting, attention to comfort and basic care, and taking small steps without seeing the whole path.

These are not signs of being stuck. They are signs of maturing.

A gentler question to ask yourself
Instead of asking what’s wrong with you, you might ask what you are learning to hold right now.

Growth doesn’t always feel exciting. Sometimes it feels quiet, slow, or unclear.

Closing
This stage doesn’t need to be rushed or solved. It needs time, care, and patience.

You don’t have to understand the life you’re growing into yet. You only need to stay present while it takes shape.

Feeling uncomfortable during change doesn’t mean you’re failing. It often means something new is forming.​


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Photos from Rosmarie Voegtli, Joe Dyer